The Opposite of Addiction is Connection

One of my very wonderful friends said this the other day, which came from one of the many books we have been reading together and man, did this stand out to me. For me and my husband and friends, this we can absolutely relate to. We are sober, in a program, working a program to the best of our ability and trying to do all the things that are recommended for us to have a happy and healthy life. Then I also have a few friends who are not sober (don’t need to be sober), but are working their own program and willing to try to be the best versions of themselves. What I have found, whether you are an alcoholic like me or not, is that such a big thing in life is connection with other people. I’m not talking about having acquaintances where we talk about the weather and where we want to go on vacation next, I’m talking about the real deal connections where we really talk and we really listen. Where we both can be totally authentic and not have a fear or being judged or critiqued.

I went to a dinner with good friends of mine the other day, and then speaking with one of them the next day we both reminisced about how we were almost still on a “happy high” from the time we spent together with everyone at the dinner and a meeting the night before. Something that really stands out to me when I have a good connection with someone is how I feel afterwards. But that high, that’s the high I get when I’m around my people. The friends (my husband included, who just happens to be my best friend) I have made along on this journey is truly one of my biggest gratitude’s. The connections I get to have with people today is something that I could have never dreamed of before I got sober where I used to spend most of my time alone (specifically crying and drinking on my couch watching some tv show that probably made me cry even more haha).

But what I really have found with these connections is that both of us have to be willing to be authentically ourselves. To take the mask off, forget about our perfectionism for a minute and really look at things differently. To change our perspectives and pay attention to someone else. To truly be willing to look ourselves deeply and talk about it. The way we are, the way we were, the way we were brought up, the experiences we have gone through, our thoughts, our fears, our feelings, our hopes, and our challenges. To not judge but to be open to anything and everything. To keep it real. Because if not, then it does turn into a conversation about the weather, or what we did on Tuesday, or what new thing I bought to put in my house now. Not that I don’t care about that kind of stuff, but after growing up a little bit (or a lot a bit) since getting sober for myself, I’ve got way more to talk about or listen to than just that.

So, I guess my point with all this is we need connection. I need connection. If you don’t have a good hubby or good group of girlfriends, then find it. Because these people that I have in my life today are the rarest finds that only God could have placed in my life and allowed me to open my eyes, heart, and ears, to see them, hear them, love them, and trust them. So, here’s to the hobby of friends…and spending time with those friends, talking to those friends, loving on those friends. Thank you God.