Happily Ever Seeking God

The big G.O.D. Many of us when we first got sober, had a problem with God. Whether we believed or not, we were angry or not, or had just forgotten about God all together, it created issues when we were told we needed to find God again. But, maybe I should speak for myself. When I first got sober, my connection with God was non-existent. I had a lot of doubts to begin with, and I was extremely angry with God because I felt like he had abandoned me. Maybe that’s why I had doubts, because every time I prayed for Him to get me out of whatever mess I had gotten myself into, and He didn’t, then I was forced to “not” believe. But I’ve learned since then, that’s not really how it works. I have been able to establish my own conception of God, and that has grown…

When you hear about heaven on earth, most of the time I think we are talking about moments, although fleeting, but that are truly magical, whatever those moments look like. Thinking back on my "God wink" experiences, really I've had a lot... especially when I am willing to open my eyes to find them. We are told to seek, right? And for me, those moments can be big or small, loud of quiet, but all seem to have a bright light encompassing them. Those moments are just moments in time or people and things that they say or do. Most recently I felt the presence of God at the ribbon cutting ceremony, the official opening of Samaritan Colony Women's Treatment Facility, a long time coming, but what an absolutely beautiful thing to witness and be a part of. Something 12 years ago, I could have cared less about, you wouldn't…

Faith: a strong, often unshakable belief, trust, or confidence, typically held without requiring logical proof or physical evidence.

Faith without works is dead. We hear it from our book, we heard it in today's sermon at Grace church. We are supposed to build ourselves up in faith, but what exactly does that mean and how do we do it? Just like what our books says, we get up and do! Take the action, whether we want to or not. In the sermon today, our pastor said we must contend for our faith. we must battle for our faith....which really is not what any of us want to do right? Because we want it to be fun, easy, and all about us (our way or no way).

So then what happens when its not any of those things (because if we are doing things right, then most likely it won't be)?…

So then why do we still have so much shame? And where does it come from? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Or why do we think we disappoint so many people? Why is it that we can never be good enough? But what is good enough? What does that really mean?