Superhero Courage

Hello again from this Happily Ever Alcoholic. Let me get you updated on my life, as it’s been a while. All the blog posts you see prior to this may look like they were posted in the last week, but really, they are from several years back. I’ve been in the process of having my website revamped by a website wiz and dear friend who I can’t thank enough. Why am I coming back to the blogging scene? The same reason I did to begin with. To get my story out there, to whoever wants to listen and might be able to relate. A lot has happened since then; I had the privilege to marry my best friend in 2019, had our first son, Gabriel in 2021, our second son Elijah in 2023, and our daughter, Faith in 2025. So, we now have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and almost 10 month old. Yikes! All the while being a stay-at-home mama, doing bookkeeping work for my husband’s business, and just dealing with life on life’s terms, staying sober one day at a time (11 ½ years later).

One of the things that I have been working on lately is self-care, since that’s something that has almost non-existent for me since having kids. What self-care? This is coming from a woman who the other day was still in her pjs and didn’t get a chance to brush her teeth until 3pm. Of course, that was also while we were in the middle of everyone in the house being sick for only the 75^th time in the last 3 months. Why are we all constantly sick? Is this just a kid thing? Another story for another day.

But back to the self-care topic, one of the things I have been participating in is a book club with one of the most amazing friends of mine. We are now on our second book (the first was Let Them by Mel Robbins- FIRE). We read specific chapters each week then have a phone call on Fridays to discuss. Currently we have just started The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, and let me just say this is starting out as a banger as well. One of the things that has already stood out to me is the subject of courage. We hear a lot about courage in the program of recovery that I participate in, as well as just in the world today. Something that was mentioned in the book is that so much of the meaning of courage these days, translates to a hero of sorts. A superhero at that. I know we would all like to believe we are superheroes and I think we are depending on the definition we go by, but sometimes it does seem so unobtainable. But in this book, a new definition of courage was presented to us; “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart”. “Heroics is often about putting our life on the line, Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.”

Wow, do I love that. But weirdly enough, that’s the same thing the program teaches us, just put in a different way. We have to be willing, open-minded, and HONEST. And without these, we cannot and will not get sober, stay sober, or just try to change as a person in general. Because that’s ultimately what the program is about anyways, not so much about putting the drink or drug down, but it’s so much more than that. Although we can’t get to the “change” part until we can actually stop drinking or drugging. But man does all that take courage. It takes courage to be honest, do something different, walk through our fear and trust something or someone else, let go of all the things we think we know, try to follow someone else’s direction, admit when we are wrong, talk about our feelings, talk about our challenges, admit we are not perfect, the list can go on and on. The amazing thing about this part of the program (and the books we have read) is that it applies to any and every one, not just us alcoholics.

I think so many people in this world just don’t know what they are missing. I get that. I was the same way once. Not willing to change, thinking everyone else/ everything else was the problem, I knew it all, I was in charge, if people just did it my way, then the world would be way better off. Silly me. I know nothing. And because of that mentality, I can remain teachable. I can experience real courage, ask for help, tell you all about me, what I have been through past and present (the good, the bad, and everything in between). It’s different today for me because I actually want to change, I want to grow, I want to do better. I want to be the best wife, friend, and mama I can be. I want to have courage. The real kind of courage. So, just for today I will keep writing, putting my story out there and trying to experience what this “superhero” courage is all about.